That ONE thing no one tells you about being a wife.

Think of that one thing that you wish someone told you about being wifey! 

I can think of a few, however there is one of which I resonated with the most in 2017. After 12 years of marriage, I thought I had figured it out. Because life is ever evolving, figuring someone else out is pretty much impossible. Most of the time we can't even figure ourselves out, let alone figuring out our spouse. Right?

So I wanted to share with you that one thing that no-one told me about being a wife when I married 12 years ago. 

That one thing is:

THE ABILITY TO BE SELF COMPLETE.

What exactly do I mean by self complete? 

Well, what I did figure out... two incomplete people can't complete each other. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you should be complete before you ever think about love and marriage, although it would help. 

I'm saying your marriage should be a bonus to your self completion. If you don't completely know who you are as an individual, how can you possibly know who you are as a wife? Ask yourself, what is my overall view of myself in life without my spouse? Am I complete or does my spouse  complete me? We should know the answer to those questions and it we don't we definitely should be seeking to find them. 

Cause here is the thing, some days you might not like your spouse. You may love them, but you might not like them. On those days do of you not liking your spouse, do you still like you?

Until Next Wednesday! 

Tru

Fancy: There's an envelope for that.

I can hear my therapist say, "find that one thing that makes you happy today!"  You will now and forever hear me talk about the importance of self-care! Yes do something that gives you butterflies and a peace of mind!

Last week, I began to focus on my 2018 goals. I have goals for my home, family, business, health, and finances! So I figured I would combine everything in one place. I have never been able to find a planner that fits my needs so I decide to learn how to bullet journal and create one. I purchased an 8x10 creative notebook journal from Barnes and Noble, did some research on Pinterest for ideas, and boom this is already the beginning of something amazing! However, I'll go into those details on a different day.

Recently my household switched our budgeting system so that we are maximizing our incoming cash flow. My second project consisted of making a custom cash envelope system! If you don't know what cash envelopes are, check out Dave Ramsey's, financial peace course or just google it. The system is designed for the use of cash only. While budgeting, each envelope is specific to the items you need and want for your household. If there isn't money in that envelope, you can't spend it. If there is, you are limited to what's in it! Sounds strict, I know, but it's better when you tell your money where to go, before it's gone and you don't know what happened to it. 

The idea of having a budget that works is so exciting to me! Now I have the tools to get and keep us on track. So Experince Fancy... Put it in your journal and create an envelope for that! 

Fancy That

Tru 

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Fancy Friday Highlight - Mrs. Henderson

We were both nervous! Chanel and I. We are sistographers. It's nerve wrecking to photograph a fellow photographer and just as much being on the other side as the subject! Well let me just say, we giggled a lot and these images turned out super hot! Newly married, Chanel surprised her new hubby on their wedding day with a little something Fancy. He was very happy by this surprised!

However the greatest impact is the new confidence Chanel found! She's a pretty confident women, but this shoot eliminated any doubt left. 

"Now when I walk past the mirror, I stop and say YES girl!" -Chanel

Chanel! The only way I can describe how we got here, is "Oooooooooo Girl!"

Fancy That

Tru

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“Dre and I loved my surprise boudoir session.”
— Chanel Well-Henderon
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Marriage really is a Fairy-tale.

I asked Quinton, "If our marriage was a Fairy-tale, what would you name it?  He said, "After the Storm".

It's amazing that we are pretty much on the same page in this journey, because I have been thinking for weeks that our book would be called Atwater After Dark. 

When I think about fairy-tales, I have always remembered the happy ending and never really put much emphasis on the mess that brings the story to a moment of happy ending bliss. With Cinderella it ended with a kiss and with Tiana the frog was her prince, but what about the evil step sisters, the magical spells, and witchcraft? 

How quickly we forget when we fall in love that evil and tricks of the enemy still exist. We get married, prepare for our happily ever after, live through life, and hope that love never really fails. Then when love does begin to fail we find ourselves asking the question... How in the world did this end up in my fairy-tale? You see, fairy-tales have always been make believe, so in reality it doesn't seem possible that shit could happen to me. 

Oh but it did and because of it, I have learned a lot about life, love, and happy endings.

Marriage really is a Fairy-tale.

There is a charming prince (husband), a beautiful princess (wife), and the tricks of the enemy. Then there is a God. For 12 years, I as a wife lived for the fairy-tale ending. Being a hopeless romantic, I never gave up on my marriage being perfect. Even in it's imperfections, my relationship and my husband were perfect for me. Then came the enemy, he brewed up a storm that seemed to destroy everything. I mean everything! There was nothing happy about it and it was all coming to an end. We found ourselves being the exact opposite of love in 1st Corinthians.

"Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Then there was God. In the middle of our storm, there was God. 

I learned there was a PART of the story that I failed to prepare for. Even though I knew there would be a happy ending and that real love never fails, I now know that there will be storms that we can't control. Our perfections will become imperfections. The good thing is the story never ends. When the enemy is attacking your marriage, your fairy-tale, God is still working miracles. No weapon formed will ever prosper with love. 

Here is what I want you to see:

Even in Corinthians we stop at "love never fails..."

However it goes on to say:

"For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we but a poor reflection as in a mirror: then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part: then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:9-13

Our fairy-tale is called Atwater After the Storm. We loved, we became the opposite of love and with God we survived the storm. We grew up. Those childish fairy-tale dreams disappeared and real unconditional love appeared. We are now face to face with our truth, that faith, hope, and love will see us through. 

Marriage really is a fairy-tale, but don't forget the part that happens before the happy ending. Instead prepare yourself to embrace the history and unlock and enjoy all of it's mysteries.

Fancy That

Tru

Photographer: Conie S. Bravo

Photographer: Conie S. Bravo