Wife Wisdom Wednesday: Parenting Conflict
Concern: My husband and I disagree on parenting (husband shows favoritism with our youngest, hwe) and agreeing on which activities our children should participate in.
Question: How can we overcome these issues?
I understand that the love for your biological child may be different than a step child, however it is your duty as the chosen parent to nurture that child as much as you would your own. If you and your spouse can't come to an agreement, as the biological parent you must do more. Yes, more, pick up the slack. Is it fair? My daddy always says, "life isn't fair" but the one thing you don't want to happen is for any of your children to feel like they aren't loved as much as the other.
When we accepted the roles as a parent for our biological and/or step children it is our responsible to BUILD them. There are many reasons why parents may disagree on what type of activities their children participate it. It could be financial issues, a problem with work/life balance, or maybe even just because you don't won't them too. Well, in BUILDING our children, it's important to expose them to different environments that will allow them to grow into the person they are supposed to be. These activities could be sports, academics, music, religion, etc. All of these activities assist in building a foundation of knowledge into your child. You can never learn or experience too much of anything positive, especially if you can afford it financially. If you can't afford extra curricular activities, come up with creative ways for your child to learn. God created an amazing planet for us to explore, so even it is taking them out into the middle of the woods to learn basis survival skills is all you can do, you have succeeded. Never limit your child's learning. If other spouse doesn't agree, find out why? Are there valid reasons or just excuses.
Example: Problem: Parents disagree with their son playing soccer, because they know for a fact that the soccer coach is abusive to his wife. Solution: Find another soccer team, with a coach you are satisfied with. Problem: Parents disagree with their son playing soccer because the soccer games conflict with the time of your favorite TV show. Solution: Stop making excuses, if your children wants to be apart of something, go the extra mile to make it happen.
As I always say, being married is a partnership, their should always be open communication and find an common ground on the things that you disagree on, even when it comes to our children. Figure out the problem and find a solution.
As a husband and wife team, work together so you can be fruitful for your children emotionally, spiritually, and financially. Give your children something to look forward to. Shower them with love and kindness. Be the example that you would want them to be. Causing unnecessary conflict, because of our own lazy intentions is not acceptable.
"For you shall eat [the fruit] of the labor of your hands; happy (blessed, fortunate, enviable) shall you be, and it shall be well with you. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the innermost parts of your house, your children shall be like olive plants around about your table." Psalm 128:2-3