"If he liked it then he should've put a ring on it." -Beyonce
"Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you, baby
If I ain't got you, baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, yeah" - Alicia Keys
"You're all I need to get by." - Marvin Gaye
"We love so strong and so unselfishly
And I made a vow so I tell you now
I'm giving you the best that I got, baby
I bet everything on my wedding ring
I'm giving you the best that I got,
Givin' it to you baby" - Anita Baker
The lyrics from the four songs above, pretty much explain the gifts of love in a marriage life cycle.
You know in the beginning, "the ring" is expected. After a few years, the ring has earned its keep, it signifies an everlasting sign of love, but being with your love is more important. Then at some point, the marriage begins to "go through" you know the hard times. You being to miss where you were in the beginning. If only things were like they use to be, you could get by. Now!!!! Y'all have made it through the storm, reflecting on the vows you made, betting everything on that wedding ring. GIVE IT THE BEST YOU GOT from this day forward!
LOVE LANGUAGE #3 RECEIVING GIFTS
"Visual symbols of love are more important to some people than to others." - Gary Chapman
Are you that girl who swoons over flowers being delivered to the office, or better yet, when your man is the one to surprise you at work, flowers in hand, prepared to take you to lunch? Are you that girl, who can't wait to show off that new handbag he got you for your birthday? Are you that girl who waits for him to say, "I'm all yours tonight, I've made plans just for us"? It's ok, not matter what. Receiving gifts, may just be your love language! You know, "us" on IG and FB can usually spot you out with all the pictures posted about the "gift"!!! Oh and those newly engaged, the best gift ever is to get that "RING", post it to IG, then celebrate, right? Right!
Personally, I'm not a materialistic person, I think gifts are very nice, I even enjoy giving them, but I've always had a hard time receiving them. My mom always taught me, if someone gives you something, never turn it down, and say thank you. Why? Because they are giving to you out of love. That may be the only way that person knows how to express their love for you. And for that reason, you should be appreciative and receive it as a gift of their love. You may think, yeah I get it, but he only gave this to me because I was mad. Well, maybe he did, but at least he tried. Maybe he doesn't truly know and understand that you like to receive gifts outside of birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries. You are assuming that he should should know this, but have you communicated that with him? Did you let him know that it is important for him to validate is love by showering you with gifts every now and then? Probably not, if you did, I can guarantee it was in the heat of an argument and he wasn't listening. LOL!!! Sorry for laughing, it's funny, cause I've been there... In my mind. Without revealing my love language, I will go ahead and say receiving gifts is not my primary love language and there have been times when I thought to myself, he should know what I want by now. Thinking back, I never verbally expressed it!!!
In the book "The 5 Love Languages" Chapman describes a few different scenarios on giving and receiving gifts. I won't go into details here, go get the book! However, the one that stuck out to me the most was THE GIFT OF SELF. It is important for my husband to be there, when I need to laugh, cry, smile. When I'm frustrated or when I am celebrating. I just need him there, by my side to hold my hand. To say, "I got you baby"or "It's going to be ok". HA!!! I don't think I've ever told him this. Even though he does a good job at it, I should probably tell him.
On the flip side, is receiving gifts your husband's love language? Have you been slacking on giving him material things or even the gift of you? Ask yourself WHY? If you are unsure or if he may have done something that has caused you to hold back, just remember
"It is more blessed to give than to receive." Acts 20:35
Because at the end of the day, when you are meeting your spouses needs, he will meet yours in return. Always keep your communication open and clear. Don't deprive each other of the love you both deserve. HE LIKED IT. HE PUT A RING ON IT. GIVE IT THE BEST THAT YOU'VE GOT, BABY!!!
UNTIL NEXT WEEK
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